


Dear William

by BuddysImpala



Category: Dark is the Night - Kelley York
Genre: A Hymm in the Silence, A Light Amongst Shadows, Adelia Wakefield, Angst, Anniversary, Benjamin Prichard, Dark is the Night, Eleanor Bennett, Fluff, Happy Anniversary, If I must single-handedly write every fic for this ship then god DAMNIT I will, Letters, Light Angst, M/M, Oscar Frances, Preston Alexander, Spesher, This is basically an entire play on James calling William “dear William” in the series, Through the Years, Virgil Appleton, Whisperwood, because I think I’m clever, letter writing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22167502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuddysImpala/pseuds/BuddysImpala
Summary: After two years since leaving Whisperwood, one year since getting “married” in an unofficial wedding ceremony led by Virgil, and five years together overall, James shows William a collection of unsent letters dating back to the very first day they met.
Relationships: James Spencer/William Esher
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Dear William

Dear William,

Despite the other boys’ warnings to stay away from you, I cannot help feeling that there is something deeper to you than simply the “drug-addict bugger” they think you are. An aggressive addict would not have taken their abuse in the calm silence you possessed, your eyes never leaving the book in your lap.

Listen to me — I have known you not twenty-four hours, yet there is something familiar about you that I feel I have known all my life. I cannot quite place my finger on it now, though I don’t suspect that to be a problem. Father always told me that I “stick my nose where it doesn’t belong.” Perhaps you are the next mystery I am to unravel.

You are a very interesting fellow, William Esher. I do hope to see you at our table again come tomorrow. If you are not there... well, perhaps I will simply have to come to you.

Sincerely,

James Spencer

*

Dear William,

It is by candlelight that I write to you, risking discovery by Virgil Appleton (or Charles, which may be worse), as it is after curfew and Oscar Frances is asleep in the bed next to mine. I cannot stop thinking about what you said earlier — I know the noises you hear are not delusions, for I hear them also. I think I see shadows, too, though I am far less certain about those. 

There is something odd going on at this school. I think the older students and the faculty may know more than they are letting on, but I do not yet know how to raise awareness about it. Oscar has been acting oddly, too — he disappears for long hours at a time outside of class, and he avoids my questions when I confront him. I do not want him to be intimidated by me, but... I cannot help but be worried.

I am relieved that I am not the only one to have noticed this, even if it is just you and I. I hope we can speak again, privately, without the other boys to interrupt us. They mean well, truly, but have prematurely judged you based on what they think they know.

My sincere apologies,

James Spencer 

*

Dear William,

My mind is whirling. Tonight alone was packed with a thousand different emotions... you, the dance, that kiss outside in the evening moonlight. How long I’ve been waiting to kiss you like that, I cannot say. Far too long, it seems.

But tonight was not as wonderful as it could have been. I am worried sick about Oscar... I haven’t the slightest idea where he could have gone, and part of me fears the worst. And that boy outside, near the spot I stole you away... that was no delusion. That was no shadow.

I am certain that boy is — or was — real, and I’m afraid he may need our help. If I could trace him down again right now, I would. But... I fear I cannot.

I fear I’m too distracted tonight to do much good. And... I’d like to apologize, William. It appears I’m too cowardly to do so in person, but there are... things you do not know about me. Things like... why I came to Whisperwood. I fear that if you knew, you would cast me aside and never look back.

Not that I would blame you.

I’m sorry, I’m rambling. I’m afraid that my mind is elsewhere, worrying about everything that happened tonight. I need to try to get some sleep, I know, but sleeping with Oscar’s empty bed right next to mine is deeply unsettling. I fear I may lie awake until dawn.

I shall try to think of nothing tonight but that kiss. That kiss and you, William. I’d like to hold on to you... for as long as I’m able.

Sincerely yours,

James Spencer

*

Dear William,

Forgive me, darling, if this letter is stained with my tears. I hardly know what to put on paper, other than the fact that I think you are... unbelievable. Astonishing. Truly, a marvel in this world, a beacon of light on the darkest of nights.

I cannot even begin to think of the words I feel toward you. The way you held me tonight, the way you comforted me as if none of what my uncle had done changed how you looked at me... my heart beats for you, William, and only you. Not even my own mother or father loved me enough to believe what I told them, and yet here you are, telling me, nearly a grown man now, that I am no different for crying. That I am no different despite the fact that I am forever marred by my uncle’s touch.

I love you, William Esher. 

I am not sure what I could have done to deserve someone like you. I thank God that He allowed our paths to cross. If not for you... I am not sure where I’d be.

I would be lost without you.

Love,

James Spencer

*

Dear William,

Thank you.

I wasn’t certain whether I could ever bring myself to be with someone after what my uncle had done, but you... you changed that. Thank you, darling, for loving me, the mess that I am, and... for keeping me safe. You have no idea how much that means to me.

Thanks to you, I know what tenderness is again.

Love,

James Spencer

*

Dear William,

Can you believe we are graduating tomorrow?

Truthfully, my heart still aches for Oscar and the other boys who never got to see their graduation day. It has been a year, but the pain is still fresh. I sincerely hope Headmaster King never sees the light of day again... nor Charles, for that matter. Good riddance to them both.

But, I am also excited. I am excited to leave Whisperwood, and to, hopefully, finally begin our lives together. I know we haven’t got everything figured out, but that’s all right. Perhaps once we leave this place, we could contact Preston’s aunt. Start up a little ghost hunting business of our own, huh? I imagine we’d be quite good at it.

Maybe we could call ourselves the Demon Detectors. 

I hope we never have to deal with that possession business again, though. My uncle is the single worst thing I could ever imagine, but I think seeing you in that tub, your eyes blank and unseeing, was a horribly close second.

I don’t know where we’ll end up, darling, but I’m all right with wherever we go as long as I’ve got you.

...And cake.

Cake would be nice, too.

Love,

James Spencer

*

Dear William,

I know our relationship isn’t easy sometimes, but this house is all ours. Nobody will ever touch us here. We don’t have to hide.

At our home, we can just be us.

Love,

James Spencer

*

Dear William,

I’m sorry that I scared you. I’m sorry... I should have never gone near Reverend Thomas. I cannot know how much time had lapsed while I was... unwell... but please know I would never leave you on purpose. 

I cannot remember anything from while I was under possession, but I do remember our arguments before then. Please know I’m sorry for all of that. I know you’re trying your best with your laudanum, and these jobs can be worrisome. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. If I ever act like that again... don’t feed me for a week!

I love you, darling. If it weren’t for you believing in me and never giving up on me, I’d probably still be chained up in that dreadful man’s dreadful basement... or worse. I owe you my life. 

You are incredible and you deserve everything I have to give.

We’ll go on holiday soon, I promise. 

Love,

James Spencer 

*

Dear William,

I have a surprise for you tonight. I know we cannot do things the traditional way, but I do hope you say yes.

Love,

James Spencer

P.S.: If you say no, I’m becoming a recluse and proposing to my lemon cakes instead.

*

Dear William,

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...

Part of me still cannot believe you said yes. I was fully prepared to pack my snacks and flee in shame if it came down to that. I’m writing in a daze because I still feel like I could wake up and find myself alone in my childhood bedroom, all of these past few years nothing but a dream. 

Tonight couldn’t have been anymore perfect. It took everything I had to rent that boat, but it was well worth it... I don’t think there’s anything more striking than being out on the water with you, your blue eyes illuminated by the moon. Not to be a sap, darling, but you’ve the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen.

And, oh, your face when I knelt down... I wish I had something to document thatmoment. Even though I didn’t have a proper ring to give you, your eyes still welled with tears. You were silent for so long I’d thought something was wrong... but then you were in my arms and everything was right. Darling, I could hold you forever and never let go.

I know we can’t do this properly, but I don’t care. I love you, William, and I’d love to spend the rest of my life with you. I cannot wait to tell the others.

Love,

(Your fiancé) James Spencer

*

Dear William, 

Someday, I hope we can wed properly.

But, for now, today was enough.

I still cannot believe you convinced Virgil to “officiate” the wedding... is it possible to officiate a wedding that cannot technically be officiated? No matter, though, because Virgil did a fine job — though I suspect Adelia played an obvious part in getting him to agree in the first place.

Having grown up knowing whom I like, I never suspected I could have a real wedding. So having people there... watching us pronounce our love... it still takes my breath away. 

Preston and Benji did a splendid job at being co-best men. Perhaps it is all right that we didn’t have rings, because I don’t think I would trust anyone who was in attendance to not lose them.

Someday, maybe, we could have rings... but for now it does not matter. It may not have been official in the eyes of our church and country, but it was official to me... and now I can say I am married to my best friend.

I love you and I thank the world for you every day.

Love,

James Spencer

P.S.: Our wedding cake was EXCELLENT. I’m going to need the name of Miss Bennett’s baker.

*

Dear William,

How has it been five years since we met? I simply cannot believe it.

Five years since we met, and tomorrow is one year since we wed... and, darling, I’d be willing to do it all over again.

I know what I’m giving you tomorrow. It’s nothing special, but I have been totting this box of letters around for the last five years... and I think it’s time you’ve seen them. Honestly, how you haven’t discovered the box already, I haven’t the slightest idea. Or maybe you have and you’ve been laughing over them with Virgil for the past half decade.

I hope not.

Happy anniversary, darling. I love you just as much now as I did at Whisperwood, and I’ll love you impossibly more for many more anniversaries to come.

Love,

James Spencer

P.S.: The one thing I regret is not finding someone who would be willing to have me jump out of their cake and surprise you. Wouldn’t that be the most delicious of surprises?

*

Normally, James would give William a faux gift and hide the normal one. This year, though, on their first “wedding” anniversary and very near five years since they met, he was too nervous. He did find the time to wrap his box of letters, but his gift-wrapping technique was not nearly as immaculate as William’s.

William was not normally one to let pure emotion overrun him, but he was positively beaming when he kissed James and gave him his gift. It was small and rectangular, wrapped perfectly in royal blue paper.

James’ eyes lit up. “Is it cake?”

William’s lip twitched in amusement. “Yes,” he deadpanned, “I ruined a perfectly good spongecake and smushed it in wrapping paper.”

James’ lips turned down in a faux pout. “You’re so mean to me.”

William rolled his eyes, but there was laughter in his response. “Oh, would you just open it already?”

James normally tore into wrapping paper, but this time he unveiled his gift slowly and with much care. The journal was bound in a color that matched the wrapping paper. Curiously, James opened it.

“I’m not much of a poet, like you,” William interjected, his voice soft, “but I do know how much you love it when I try.”

James looked up, all laughter gone from his face, his eyes soft. “Are these—“

William nodded. “My poor attempts at poetry, yes. It’s filled with them.”

James’ hug was crushing and made William gasp, but his hold quickly softened, and he tilted William’s chin up and kissed him. William sighed, his eyes fluttering shut, fingers entangling themselves in James’ hair.

Then James presented his own gift. It was not as neatly wrapped as William’s had been, but the wrapping paper was a deep purple. Smiling, amused by the wrapping attempt, William opened his gift.

His breath caught in his throat as he lifted the lid to the smooth wooden box.

Each letter was addressed to him, each written in James’ neat hand. He only had time to glance at one — written during their holiday together, after James’ close call with the Reverend — before his eyes began to fill with tears, smudging his glasses. He looked up at James.

“How long?” he whispered.

“Since my first year at Whisperwood.”

There were dozens and dozens of letters.

Genuinely choked up, William pulled James close and pressed his face into the other boy’s chest. James held him, hand stroking his hair, murmuring whispers in his ear.

“I love you,” William mumbled. “Thank you... so much.”

James tilted William’s face up and kissed his tear-stained cheeks. He ended with a kiss to William’s lips, soft and slow and loving. William clung to him as he pulled away.

“I love you. Happy anniversary, dear William.”

**Author's Note:**

> I am... actually quite proud of this 😂 comment if you wanna!


End file.
